So, you’re thinking about getting a Great Dane.

Maybe you saw one majestically walking through the park. Maybe you fell in love with those giant floppy ears, long legs, and sweet face. Maybe someone told you Great Danes are “gentle giants.”

All true.

What they may have forgotten to mention is that you’re about to share your home with a 140-pound toddler who believes he is a lap dog.

I know this because I live with Waylon.

And while I wouldn’t trade him for anything, there are a few things I really wish someone had warned me about.

1. Personal Space Is Over

Great Danes do not understand the concept of “near you.”

They understand ON you.

Waylon can have an entire room available to him and still choose the six inches of space currently occupied by my body.

He leans.

He sits on feet.

He puts his head in your lap.

And occasionally, he attempts to put considerably more than his head in your lap.

You may technically own a Great Dane, but your Great Dane will own your personal space.

2. Everything You Own Suddenly Looks Small

Dog bed? Too small.

Crate? Too small.

Car? Surprisingly small.

Couch?

Well, apparently you bought that for the dog.

Shopping for a giant breed dog is different because regular dog products aren't always designed with 100+ pounds of enthusiasm in mind.

You start measuring everything.

Will he fit on it?

Will it hold him?

Can he break it?

Can I fit it in my house?

And the question I have learned to ask most often:

Does this come in XXL?

3. The Lean Is Real

If you've never been leaned on by a Great Dane, you may think this sounds adorable.

It is.

Until you're standing slightly off balance while 140 pounds of dog casually transfers his body weight onto your legs.

The Great Dane lean is basically a hug with structural consequences.

And Waylon is very affectionate.

4. Their Tails Should Probably Require a Permit

A happy Great Dane tail is approximately the height of everything you don't want knocked over.

Coffee cups.

Drinks.

Decorations.

Small objects.

Possibly small children.

When that tail starts going, you learn very quickly to clear the area.

We call this happiness.

Your coffee table may call it something else.

5. You Will Become Weirdly Excited About Finding Something That Actually Fits

The first time you find a harness that fits correctly, you'll want to tell people about it.

Same with a bed big enough for them to stretch out on.

Or a toy that survives longer than 17 minutes.

Or a car accessory that can handle the hair, drool, paws, and general chaos involved in transporting a Great Dane.

That's actually one of the reasons I created Giant Paws Market.

Finding products for giant breed dogs shouldn't require twelve browser tabs, a measuring tape, three returns, and a prayer.

When we find something that works for Waylon, you'll see our Waylon Approved badge.

That means we've actually owned it, used it, and liked it.

Waylon takes his product-testing responsibilities very seriously.

Especially when treats are involved.

6. You Will Talk About Poop More Than You Ever Expected

Nobody puts this part in the beautiful Great Dane photos.

But giant dog in...

Giant dog out.

I'll leave it there.

You're welcome.

7. They Are Masters of Looking Completely Neglected

Your Great Dane can be sleeping on an enormous comfortable bed, surrounded by toys, after eating dinner and receiving approximately 47 kisses...

…and still look at you like he has suffered tremendously.

Waylon has perfected this.

One deep sigh.

One sad look.

Perhaps a paw placed dramatically across the face.

Clearly, no dog has ever been loved less.

Five minutes later, he's asleep.

8. Leaving the House Becomes an Event

Taking a giant breed dog somewhere isn't always:

“Come on, buddy! Let's go!”

It's more like preparing a very hairy toddler for a road trip.

Leash.

Harness.

Water.

Bowl.

Poop bags.

Towels.

Treats.

Car protection.

And depending on your dog and vehicle, possibly a ramp or step.

This is why our Walk & Travel recommendations focus on things that make getting out the door with a giant breed dog a little easier.

Because sometimes the adventure is wonderful.

And sometimes the accomplishment is simply getting everyone into the car.

9. They Are Absolutely Ridiculous

This may be my favorite thing about Great Danes.

For dogs that look so regal in photographs, they are complete goofballs.

The facial expressions.

The awkward sleeping positions.

The zoomies.

The dramatic sighing.

The belief that they are significantly smaller than they actually are.

Living with a Great Dane means laughing. A lot.

10. The Biggest Thing About Them Isn't Their Size

This is the part people actually get right.

They really are gentle giants.

They take up an enormous amount of room in your house, your car, your bed, your budget...

…and somehow an even bigger amount of room in your heart.

Waylon is funny, frustrating, enormous, sweet, ridiculous, and deeply loved.

Giant breed life isn't always convenient.

It certainly isn't tidy.

But once you've been loved by one of these oversized goofballs, it's pretty hard to imagine life without one.

And if you're already living the giant-paws life?

Welcome.

You found your people. 🐾

— Terry & Waylon

Giant Paws Market
Big dogs. Big love. Better finds.

There is a sound every Great Dane owner knows. It usually comes from somewhere soft. The couch. A giant dog bed.
A pile of freshly washed blankets. First, there is silence. Then...SIIIIIIIIIGH. Not a regular dog sigh. A deep, exhausted, I have carried the weight of this family on my shoulders for far too long sigh. Waylon does this. Frequently. And every time he does, I find myself wondering: What exactly has been so difficult for you today, sir? A Typical Day of Suffering Let's examine the evidence. Waylon wakes up in a climate-controlled home after sleeping on something considerably softer than many mattresses I've owned or he has taken over my bed and I am sleeping on a sliver of mattress, He does his Dolly Parton moves- yawn, stretch, and try to come to life. He goes outside. His “bathroom “ is s well taken care of yard full of green grass, and dog friendly plants and flowers, which he takes time to sniff a few of his favorites while he answers natures call. He comes back inside. Breakfast is served. Fresh water is available. There are toys. There are comfortable places to lie down in nearly every room. There are people who love him. There are treats. And, despite all of this...SIIIIIIIIIGH. Apparently, life has been terribly unfair.

Breakfast Was a Particularly Difficult Time

Imagine waking up hungry. You make your needs known. Your human prepares your breakfast. And then—and I hope you're sitting down for this—you are expected to wait several seconds while she finishes putting it together. Seconds. Possibly twelve of them. No Great Dane should be expected to endure this kind of hardship. Waylon survives. Barely.

Then I Had the Audacity to Go to Work

This may be my greatest offense. Apparently, Giant Paws Market is supposed to operate without its owner actually doing any work. I sit down at the computer. Waylon appears. He stares at me. I continue working. He stares harder. I explain that somebody has to pay for the food, treats, toys and various XXL items required to maintain his lifestyle. He remains unmoved. Eventually, he walks away. Then, from somewhere behind me: SIIIIIIIIIGH. Management has filed a complaint.

His Working Conditions Are Appalling

For the record, Waylon is technically part of Giant Paws Market. His responsibilities include product testing, appearing handsome in photographs and occasionally providing absolutely no assistance whatsoever. It's demanding work. Sometimes a product arrives and Waylon is expected to sniff it. Other times I take a picture of him. Occasionally, he must lie on something. We try not to overwork him. Still, I recently received word from the Director of Employee Relations—also Waylon—that product development had exceeded the allowable work-to-play ratio. The meeting was immediately relocated to the yard. I was instructed to bring the toy.

The Couch Situation Is Especially Tragic

Waylon has access to comfortable furniture. Unfortunately, sometimes a human is already sitting on it. This presents a problem. A Great Dane does not see a couch containing two humans and think: "There doesn't appear to be room for me." A Great Dane thinks: "Those people need to rearrange themselves." So we do. Waylon climbs up. He turns around approximately seventeen times. He lies down. He stretches. One person loses feeling in a leg. Another person is now sitting sideways. Waylon finally gets comfortable. And then... SIIIIIIIIIGH. Apparently we are exhausting.

There Was Also the Treat Incident

Waylon received a treat, He ate the treat. The treat was gone. This was unexpected. He checked my hand. Nothing. He checked the floor. Nothing. He looked at me. I explained that he had, in fact, eaten it. He continued looking at me. I stood firm. For almost thirty seconds. He got another treat. I don't want to talk about it.

Privacy Is Also Very Important to Him

Mine, apparently, is not. Bathroom? Waylon would like to attend. Kitchen? Waylon is available to supervise. Going outside? He should probably come too. Walking from one room to another? Clearly this requires a security escort. But if Waylon wants privacy? He simply walks into another room and lies down. Five minutes later, I hear it. SIIIIIIIIIGH. I can only assume he's thinking about everything I've put him through.

The Burden of Being Extremely Handsome

This is perhaps Waylon's greatest struggle. People notice him. People talk to him. People tell him he's handsome. People ask questions about him. People want to pet him. It's exhausting being this magnificent. He didn't ask for this life. He was simply born into it.

And Yet, Somehow, He Carries On

Tomorrow, Waylon will wake up and bravely face another day. There will be breakfast. There will be naps. There will be treats. There will probably be a walk. There will be toys. There will be people telling him what a good boy he is.

And sometime during all of this, my deeply burdened Great Dane will collapse onto the couch, look around at the comfortable little life we've built around him...

…and release the saddest, longest, most dramatic sigh you've ever heard. I will look at him. He will look at me. And I'll say what Great Dane owners everywhere have probably said a thousand times: “Waylon, your life is SO hard.” SIIIIIIIIIGH.

I know, buddy. Stay strong.

🐾

— Terry & Waylon

Giant Paws Market
Big dogs. Big love. Better finds.